hot

this shit's crazy.
paper bag princess. W, september 09.

it's been hot. extremely hot. i'm going insane. absolutely positively insane. i can't sleep at night. oh gawd... IT'S HOT. i'm sorry, i'm just... it's consuming my mind right now.

registration today. fuck my life. i swears, my life story is like lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events. okay. Started the day off major cramps. Had issues with my book fines 'cause Persichina collected the spiral workbooks earlier last year but for some reason did not turn in my and Andrew's book. Walked half a mile around the school looking for Persichina only to find out he's in Arizona. My ID picture... shit, empty space takes up like half the picture. My fucking name is spelled wrong in the agenda "VISTORIA DO", like wtf? do they even know a Vistoria to make them think it was perfectly okay to put it in there like that? I left the line to change my schedule cause i waited for an hour only to find out that i was 5 minutes away from actually meeting my counselor. Walked around the school for another half a mile to look for paintbrushes only to end up NOT painting the ASB counter. Gosh, i don't even want to mention what happened at home. And Stephanie Kang was there to witness every minute of it. I love her. I've missed hanging out with her and man, can't wait for Labor Day weekend.

So this whole thing going on between us.. I really like it. It's different from what I'm used to, but I like it a whole lot better. it's good, it's real good. i'm happy. tehehe you're so q.

DIE

it's hot.
really hot.
DEATHLY HOT.

early start tomorrow. i bought cookies and candy. gah i'm such a nice senior.... oh shits, how surreal, we're seniors now. oh pinch me.. i'm excited to work with hao. he's so funnny : ) tehehe, happy birthday to him and An! my fave twinss.

asb bonfire yesterday. it was whateverrs... hehehe :)

i'm dehydrated. feels like asb camp all over again. shitssss.

state of flux

if i say anything, it's going to be obvious.


so, i'll say this:

i'm just really fucking confused right now.
what do i do..




amy says to not think about it.
i should be cautious.
i suppose i complicate things. i overthink.

black keys

i'm watching 'what a girl wants' with amanda bynes. now i know this movie is super cute and i love it, but sometimes i really hate it. yeah, it got me thinking about my father. i made a pact to not think about him and all but, it's hard not to. i don't need to say anything to him, nor do i want anything from him, i just want to look at him. that's really all i want to do. i wish it was as easy as amanda bynes made it seem to be in the movie. she jetted off to england, found her dad, and ended up staying with her dad all in a matter of the first 20 minutes of the film. ez as pie. really now?

i've been advised to not worry and that finding him will only cause drama. perhaps it will. at this rate, i don't know i i'll ever see him. i know i'm 17, but when will i ever have time to find him.

ahah funny. amanda bynes' character in the movie is 17. coincidence? is this a calling? hehe.

kind of creepy of me, but i people search'ed him about a year ago. i found possible matches. should i just arrive at his doorstep with my parents' wedding picture? i mean, i could make it all hollywood.

what if he moved to cambodia? what if he's dead? what if he's filthy rich?

will i ever know?

Stop

you're taking me out to eat. you're taking me to the beach. and i agreed to both of them, obviously. i just don't know if i should. if you asked me a year ago, i would be all for it. right now? not so much.......? should i give it a go, should i say no? maybe i should just stop rhyming...

why must my history have to keep repeating itself? or.. why do i let it repeat itself?
WHY!

i'm just in a state on confusion right about now. right before school, too!

i love amy le. she's so smart. i complain about one thing, she instantly gives me a different point of view on it.

just wanted to say

that today's gonna be a good day.


happy birthday stepdad. oh, and Ann Vu, too. hehe

tousle me softly

I feel bummy. I feel rushed, pressured even. Fuck the teenage years, I'm over it. Senior registration papers came in. Yikes, this is it, the year I've been waiting for my whole life and the year I've been dreading. Senior year.. the last year of teenage youth. don't get me wrong, I'm so looking foward to the college life, or as I like to call it "adult-youth". Staying at UCSB made me excited to dorm on campus.

Well, all in all, I guess you could say I'm excited for senior year. I mean, who doesn't love a fresh new slate? I honestly feel a new, improved "Victoria" coming in.

XXXXX

ASB CAMP 09

Oh flipping goodness. where to begin with camp. It was one of the best experiences ever. From the moment I stepped onto the bus @ Bolsa to the moment I climbed out of the bus (@ Bolsa, once again), I had a blast.

TUES:
- Boarded the charter bus @ Bolsa around 1ish.
- Arrived around 4ish, unpacked, settled into our dorms.
(I LOVED DORMING WITH STEPHANIE & HAVING OUR NIGHTLY CHATS ABOUT THE DAY)
- Dinner! UCSB's food is bomb.
- PARTY TIME with the rest of the schools! Starting losing my voice that day.

WED:
- Pictures/cheer-offs/AAG/volleyball
- March of the Flags! (Go AUZZZIE!)
- DAVID GARIBALDI!! EVERYONE YOUTUBE HIM! He's phenomenal.
- 1st workshop...
- Talent show rehearsal
- JUNGLEEEEE JAMMMMMMMM, well, it wasn't as great as I expected. BUT STILL FUN BECAUSE OF LMFAO!! they came to perform! bestest shit ever.
- Girl talk with the girliess
- Final words and debriefing with Stephanie

THURS:
- Workshops (Breaking Boundaries, different motivational speakers, etc)
- Talent show!
- UNDER THE BIG TOP! had a blasttt : ) I love Jennifer! She's so bold.

FRI:
- last workshop with James, Community Projects. Boring, but I learned a lot.
- Closing ceremonies, camp vid! (I saw myself twice or thrice, hehe)
- Awards..... Bringing home a 3rd place trophy. It's okay :'')
- Incredible bonding moment after. it was TOUCHING. LQVE

I've met so many people @ camp, but my favorite would have to be Tony Dang!! He's my male counterpart.

tweet freeeeek

twidroid is not working. I believe its a sign that I twitter too much.

tell me, tell me.

andrew's for prac and clothes distribution
ani's for costumes (99% done! *pats self, ani, & jerri on shoulder*)
the lab. urban, buffalo. found the perfect sequin'ed top. $8?! whatta steal.
irvine spec. urban, forever.
palace beauty? planet beauty? near guppyss
fashion young. found stuff for jungle jam (jungle fever?)
whore store.
vbs
got home around 11
took an ice cold shower. uncomfortable!

my vs bathing suit came in. my makeup came in. thats it, i'm done with online shopping.

goodnight.





1) i miss it and how it was
2) i missss you.
3) i miss that feeling