Saturday, August 22, 2009

black keys

i'm watching 'what a girl wants' with amanda bynes. now i know this movie is super cute and i love it, but sometimes i really hate it. yeah, it got me thinking about my father. i made a pact to not think about him and all but, it's hard not to. i don't need to say anything to him, nor do i want anything from him, i just want to look at him. that's really all i want to do. i wish it was as easy as amanda bynes made it seem to be in the movie. she jetted off to england, found her dad, and ended up staying with her dad all in a matter of the first 20 minutes of the film. ez as pie. really now?

i've been advised to not worry and that finding him will only cause drama. perhaps it will. at this rate, i don't know i i'll ever see him. i know i'm 17, but when will i ever have time to find him.

ahah funny. amanda bynes' character in the movie is 17. coincidence? is this a calling? hehe.

kind of creepy of me, but i people search'ed him about a year ago. i found possible matches. should i just arrive at his doorstep with my parents' wedding picture? i mean, i could make it all hollywood.

what if he moved to cambodia? what if he's dead? what if he's filthy rich?

will i ever know?

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