i am bitter,
immature,
indecisive.

they call her my "protege"

welcome back assembly.

The Circus.

one saturday afternoon

Got back from BT with Leakana. I love Peet's. Thanks to Kristine and Tommmmmy for visiting me. Love them!

Finally, this week is over. I've never been so exhausted and tired. Welcome Back assembly was alrights. GO 2010!!!! SEN10RS!!!!!!!!!! I think going balls to the wall when Azcona introduced the seniors was the highlight of the assembly. Sure hope people liked the costumes. Kade did! I was so happy when he told me.

Dance. oh, the dance.. I had fun, I was bored, I was sick, I was annoyed, I was disgusted, I was estatic. I was TIRED. FC boys were such whores. I loved it. So happy Kristine was there. I've missed seeing her. I love Kevin Dao :') HE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART.

I wouldn't say that I was sad* (sorry, not 'happy') to see you, but I would say that I was sad and ashamed to say that I caught myself being fake and/or acting like you didn't exist when you were 2 feet away from me. I just didn't know what to say or do. But if we're "better off as friends" I should act like you're a friend and not an enemy. I'm sorry, but I have to admit, being friends, or TRYING to be friends with you is really hard. I feel like all I could do is say "hi"... and that's it. I mean, it's not the same.

"AW HELL NO. AW HELL NO" hehe. I love Nina and Jerrri.

"Is it just me or are LQ people sluttier than other schools?"
"We're slutty. We dance slutty, we dress slutty."
HAHAHAHHA..... actually, I'm embarrassed..

chatter

I'm really in a talkative mode and I really don't know why. It keeps my mind busy and I like being busy.

So my mom's friend "hired" me to do her family portraits. I'm getting paid. Weird, right? I sincerely thank my mom for being the best "MOMAGER" ever!!! Thanks for bragging about me, even though I'm really not that great... hehe. Can't wait to use my uncle's SLR camera. and I really hope to do well. Cross your fingers for me. Pointers/tips/advice, please. If I do well, my mom promised me my own SLR camera for my 18th. She was so quick to say yes, too. I shall not let her down!!! NEVER. Photography is the one hobby I did not let go of such as piano, violin, or karate. Honestly, I don't even deserve this opprotunity. I'm pure amateur. I'm nervous, I don't know much. But, I'll try to learn in a short amount of time.

Three... no four people asked me today. Bad timing, no?

XXX

it doesn't feel right because i don't have homework right now and many of my friends are busy... i feel guilty for blogging and watching Law and Order while everyone else is working : \

i feel like doing my infamous lists of complete randomness. remember those on my MyS? tehehe...

1. i want to live in san fran
2. or rhode island.
3. or georgia.
4. i need to throw a Gatsby-inspired party.
5. i'm tired of living far. i'm tired of sitting in the car for hours on end.
6. i really do love my girls.
7. i miss stephanie kang
8. you're unreliable.
9. everything you said.. probably doesn't matter anymore. all talk.
10. you'll always be my fave freshie. till the end.
11. idc that we hardly talk, i could still go to you and you'll always support me, as i would for you.
12. i really.. miss you.
13. i'm okay............? am i? really?

i've been blogging way too much. gotta slow my roll.
how'd i go up to 26 posts in March...?

"it's hard to move on without looking back"

Eh. Bleh. It hit me hard. Whatever. :)
When things start too quickly, they end pretty quickly. That's life!

It's nothing, really. I'm such an over thinker.... Embarrassing.
Lesson learned, that's for sure.

Heh, I'm happy though. I am.

faded glory

these pictures, though taken through my phone and are not that great , have inspired me on my area of concentration for photography. i'm officially going to do "the fabrics of life". School, especially my photography class and Mr. Aldous, has inspired me to master photography. i'm excited, I really am. I just miss the dark room with such great passion!!! i loved the suspense in watching it develop and the frustrations of making its contrast absolutely perfect.

i'm kind of sad about this school year. i haven't been keeping in touch with a lot of people and I mean LQ people.. i'm so bad! I miss J.Troung, especially.. I only talk to people who are super close to me, or in ASB. I'm a horrible friend. I'm sorry.


i really miss talking to you. but don't worry about me.

?

tell me i'm overthinking things. and make me feel stupid for doing so.

and since when did i ever need reassurance? i was never like this. i was always the "fuck it"-Miss Independent-Kelly Clarkson status. where did this come from? i'm kind of embarrassed.

the most evident utensil,
is none other than a pencil.
writer tell me what you want from me
before my paper is through.

why can't i leave my scabs alone

{fuckyeahfashion@tumblr}

i need to stop. before i go crazy. i worry about everything, really. esp my family. i guess i worry too much, to the point where it consumes me. i've... been tense lately.

Something's Gotta Give. I love Jack Nicholson.

new wave

I LOVE LOVE LOVE GLEE. This show is seriously the best.

i can't think of titles anymore

last first weekend after last first two days of high school.. heh.

I love my classes. I LOVE THEM!!!
1. photo2
2. leadership
3. ap lit
4. physics
5. civics

they're so fun! AP Lit intimidates me, though. But I have a feeling that I'm going to learn so much in that class. I'm not aiming for an A, a B is fine, but I think the experience is worth it. ASB is always entertaining. Physics is fun. Civics is too. I always get those 2 mixed up. Physics.. Civics.. gah! they just don't roll off my tongue very well.

I'm still getting used to being a senior. it feels weird. I don't feel old enough, I guess.

Tony came to visit me yesterday during 6th!!! I was so happy :')

thanks to Kristine for getting me the AA figure skater dresss!!! OMG. im so excited.

last first football game.. was boring. *yawn* it was fun during the first half, crazy really! I love Kade, so funny. :') but, then it winded out.. gah.

RIP Kevin Telles. :l I don't know him, nor did I witness it, but I'm still choked up. Life is too uncertain. My thoughts go out to his family, his friends, and GGHS.

you got me

last night of summer 09. senior year, the year I've been waiting for my entire life. Honestly, I never thought I would actually reach this year. it seemed too far, too impossible. but, damn, it's tomorrow. I'm excited, I am. nervous? sure. all in all, I've gotta good feeling about this year. :)

mmm summer of 09. I wouldn't say it's my favorite summer, or even one of the best summers of my life. But, I think it gave me a lot of opprotunities to learn, to learn about everything and everyone to a certain extent. I learned to prioritize the things in my life: family, church, friends, school, future etc. I wish that ASB didn't take up most of my summer, but then again I wouldn't have been able to cherish the moments I had with my family or friends outside of ASB. I learned to not be so self-centered around the ones I love most because they're only "gifts" to me, I don't deserve them and on top of that, I take them for granted.

I'm sad, like TERRIBLY sad that Steph and I didn't get to see each other AT ALL this summer. well, rarely. this better not be the end of our 5 million sleepovers, shopping trips, and poolside tannings. I miss ya, girl. :( can't wait till college, when we'll see each other every day. back2school shopping wasn't the same without her. DEPRESSING, actually. 'cause who goes shopping without her bfffffffffffffffff?

this is cute. tswift is in the bg.

it's late. i need a break from Atonement. I hate Briony.. why can't high school english teachers assign books with happy endings? i don't understand. i downloaded colbie caillat's Breakthrough album. it's good. she never gets old. went back2school supply shopping today. i love the feel of new notebooks and pens. semi-excited for school now.. thanks to my new JONAS folders. yee, w'sup. talked to T tonight. he's so punny. sorry i live in SD, his daily complaint. i want to strangle him..... asb meeting tomorrow @ 12. need to finish the fucking counter!!! and the calendar!!! i love my position..

i want some. right. now.
mocha, yum. mint avalanche, yum. red velvet, yum. cream cheese, yum.

ah ma'fuck. it's almost 2. i'm watching comedians of chelsea lately. i'm going to regret it tomorrow morning. i hate waking up early just to go to my aunt's. FML.

elastic smiles

school's almost here. i have so much to do... i should just ditch the first day. oh fuck, i lost my schedule. but I think I memorized it, hopefully. speaking of school, I need to start on those scholarships. Why do I procrastinate so much?

-i've been spending so much time with Amy lately. "you're normal now!" hehe, shut up.
-distance and conlicting schedules.. it's hard for us. :( imy!!!
-i subconsciously said "Hi Sparky!" when I went upstairs today... RIP. I miss him. such a faithful and smart dog. I miss having him sleep in my room and I regret kicking him out 'cause I was tired of opening the door for him. I miss him during dinner 'cause he's always at the foot of our chairs, sitting on his butt, begging for food. I kind of knew he was going to go, but still, it kind of hits you.

church guuurls. O:-)

SAVVY

Ames

spent half the day with Ames, too bad she had tennis :( we didn't do much. TV, makeup.. ;), and pool. lotsa (much needed) girl talk. I swears, she's my go-to girl. so thankful for that. just caught up on a lot of things, even though we honestly didn't need "catching up" to do.. girls could talk about everything. excited for Friday! she's gonna come over to my area to go shopping. excited for next year. hopefully Canada, Vegas, and camping. I sincerely miss Stephanie Tu and I'm sad that she has so much on her plate. Ames and I are your biggest supporters so go out there and win AZTEC OF THE YEAR. beat out a lil someone, yeeee thatz wasssup.

I love PixelPipe cause I could blog through my phone....

Yesterday was the first day I realized how much I like you... just sayin'!

hello September.

september's one of my favorite months. I'm honestly excited for school, but there's so much I need to do.

-finish summer assignments
-finish ASB counter
-finish ASB calendar

so many kids are coming back next year. I'm excited! but it doesn't feel right without KQ. I'm so glad we fixed things, it's such a huge sigh of relief. I've missed her. (idk I might of blogged about her already)

I'm desperately trying to stay awake until T finishes his hw. what a lagger :) hehehehe I'll make him do the same on September 9th.

tomorrow: with Amesss! finallly, right? time to squeeeze in one last tan before school.
Thurs: freshmen registration. I hope they'll cooperate with me.